Life Of Strife
by Razzmatazzy
Summary: Post AC, some Cloti. Cloud is having a really shitty day. Woe to those who make it worse. Rated for strong language  it's a really bad day!  The only story you'll find under 'humor' and 'angst' genres! One of my favorites so far.


_(Author's Note: This was a little experiment, actually. I wanted to see how 'close' I could get into a character's head without using first-person POV because, to be quite honest, whenever I write in first-person POV, it causes horrific natural disasters and makes babies cry. So! I whipped up this to see what I could do and it was a LOT of fun. The only story you will ever find to be grouped under 'humor' and 'angst' at the same time. There's a little voice in my head saying that I should make this into a multi-chap. I gotta say, the voice has some pretty good ideas... Please feel free to comment and enjoy!)_**  
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**Life Of Strife**

Some days are just shit, you know that? Some days it isn't even worth kicking ass and taking names and feeling awesome for a few minutes, because when the fun is done, you're covered in blood and grime and filth, roaring hungry and aching all over. Some days, you just know you should've stayed in bed and told the world to get bent.

Unfortunately for Cloud, he couldn't stay in bed. His mercenary job was a huge cash-in, despite the small fare he was currently getting, and for once they were finally getting to breath a little easier about the checkbooks. It looked like that big date he had secretly planned for him and Tifa would happen sooner than he expected. And even though the merc job was incredibly more satisfying than being a delivery boy, it certainly left a _much_ bigger mess to clean up.

Cloud was having an overall miserable day. Fenrir had broken down a few miles out of Edge and he had to walk it back. It didn't help his disposition that some stupid hippies in a rainbow van had splashed him with mud from the only puddle within miles. Assholes.

Seriously, who in their right mind drives a rainbow van? That takes a dedicated, special kind of crazy to do that. As crazy people go, he'd probably have to be the most exotic case the world had ever known. He knew crazy, inside out, up, down, and backwards. But you don't see _him_ riding around in a rainbow van wearing shamrock sunglasses, now do you?

Punks.

Some days, on the other hand, were just awesome and he felt like this was what he'd truly meant to be - a stylin' badass. Yuffie came up with that one; she says a lot of crazy shit, but he kinda liked that one. Anyway, there are other days that are just not worth it. Like today. It started with a bad morning, continued with a bad noon, and he was grimly expecting a bad evening as well when he finally walked up to the bar with Fenrir.

Aching all over, stomach growling audibly, he didn't walk into the bar. He more like _slumped_ into the bar, if you can imagine that as an action of locomotion. Maybe that word can't even be used that way.

Aw fuck it, he was having a bad fucking day, he'd use whatever damn word he damn well pleased.

Piss off, mental grammar bitch.

He rubbed his right shoulder, wincing, as he entered the bar through the back door. Only a light streaming beneath the doors to the dining area told him someone was awake. Everything was shut down for the night, even though the sun had set a few hours ago - at least he got back home at decent hours now, which meant more time with his light... Tifa...

He paused in the dim kitchen, allowing himself a moment of pure pleasure just thinking of Tifa. Yes, more time with Tifa was a _definite_ fringe benefit and it really did outweigh the universal aches and filth that covered him. They'd started talking about sharing a room, much to his delight.

Cloud sighed. She wasn't likely to share a room with him tonight however, not with him exhausted and aching and in a dour mood. Maybe he could get a good long kiss out of her tonight. And a hug. A long, comforting, warm Tifahug, like only she can give.

It bore quite a bit of happy contemplation.

With that happy thought to buoy him, he walked into the bar room proper... well, almost walked in. He was so tired, almost dead on his feet, that he didn't watch where he was going. His shoulder made solid contact with the door frame.

WHAM!

Oh fuck, oh shit, oh doom on dipstick.

Tears sprang to his eyes and he lightly touched trembling fingers to the already injured shoulder which _shrieked_ in pain. Waves of agony radiated through him, all coming from that damn shoulder. He bit his lip to keep from crying, it hurt that much. He'd forgotten about the gash he'd gained there on this last job and O Sweet Lifestream did it effing _hurt._

Gasping in pain, he stumbled through the door and leaned against the bar. It was all he could do to not drop to that wonderfully cozy looking wood floor and start writhing in pain. He'd never actually writhed before, but he thought he'd be rather good at it and he was sorely tempted to have a go now.

Oh come on, why did it have to hurt _that _long? He didn't slam it that hard. A glance at the door revealed to him a piece of trim that had snapped off and was lying amongst splinters on the floor.

Okay... maybe he had hit it a little hard...

Oh someone please, make it stop. That floor was looking really good right now. Writhing was imminent.

"Cloud?"

Angels' voices really do sound like silver bells. Wonder how he knows that? Because he lives with one. Her name is Tifa. He always called her the angel in his heaven, making a rather lame pun on the name of the bar, but she liked it.

And now she was coming to save him. Oh thank all that's sweet and holy and wonderful. Tifa, please make the pain stop.

"Tifa..." He gritted his teeth on the plea. Did he dislocate his shoulder? Ow!

Light fingers touched his shoulder and he flinched away, hissing in his breath. That action hurt more than the contact and he immediately regretted it.

"Ohmygawd, Cloud what happened?" Her voice started to tremble. "Is that blood?"

What? Oh no.

The wound had reopened. He was trying to get some cure materia to grow - know how much a mastered cure materia sells for on the market? Hint, it starts with an 'm' - and as a result the cure materia he had was too low-powered to fully seal the wound. The last thing he wanted was to get Tifa worried about him. It was really just a long, shallow cut, but it bled a lot and that always made it seem worse than it really was. Now she'd be insufferably fussy for a week and pester him about being careful on jobs.

Shit. Damn it all. This day was just getting worse and worse.

Cloud just moaned in pain and Tifa brought his forehead to rest on her shoulder. That small action really did help. It's amazing what contact with your loved one can do. Tifa would make him better. She always does, right when he _really needed _it.

"Your shoulder is dislocated," Tifa said softly. She ran her fingers through his grimy hair and oh sweet stars, that felt good. It really, really did.

"Hunh. Damn door... jumped me..." he muttered between pained gasps. "Not because... of job. That damn door!" He wanted to make it very clear that he'd walked into this building in much better condition that he had walked into this room. The shoulder was caused by demonic architecture, not because of the job.

"Cloud..." She sounded uncertain, like he wasn't making any sense. Which he probably wasn't. He just groaned again.

"Cure... mine is too low level." A pause. "Hurts." Tifa always kept a mastered cure materia on her. He'd seen it, glowing beneath her skin, just as the small of her back.

"I have to put your shoulder back in before I can, okay?"

Oh no. No no no no no, please don't do that, please, just be an angel. Make the pain stop. But it was never that simple. He was Cloud Strife and he had the worst luck ever. So he sighed. "Make it qui-"

_CRACK!_

Oh fuck, oh shit, oh doom on dipstick.

Yup, it's writhing time, folks! Here goes Cloud, hero of the Jenova War, tipping over to writhe like a sobbing little child on the cold wooden floor of a bar that's harboring only Ancients-know-what kinds of dirt and germs. Watch as he cries like a little bitch, before the stunned eyes of the woman he loves and the children that regarded him as The Hero. Witness as he loses all rights to his man-card, and this time he won't get it back, despite the fact no dresses were involved.

Except... he wasn't writhing on the floor. He had his head pressed to Tifa's shoulder, eyes glazed over with remnants of pain as Tifa cast the most powerful cure spell on him. Sweet, wonderful, holy warmth swept through his body. He could feel it washing through him, chasing the pain away. He buried his face in her sternum (that's the area just below the throat, you sickos, yeah yeah, I _know_ what you were thinking) and drew in a deep, shuddering breath, relishing in Tifa's divine scent. She smells like lavender and jasmine. That is a cocktail only angels can have. He could stay like this forever, no pain, leaning against Tifa, awash in her scent. This right here, this was happiness.

"Is Cloud okay?"

Okay, now let's take a little side-track here. Cloud liked kids - really, he did. But sometimes he felt like he was really getting the short end of the stick. _Amazing_, right? Since when did he _ever_ get anything but the short end of the damn stick that was probably used to beat fuzzy mewling kittens?

Anyway, he and Tifa were a couple, no questions there. But their relationship had gone into a very long, awkward phase of... well, why be subtle about it... a phase of _extreme unresolved sexual tension_ for a while because of two little inhabitants known as Marlene and Denzel.

And while Cloud considered the kids family and he loved them in his own way, sometimes it just wasn't effing fair. He wasn't even married to the girl of his dreams and they had to duck and dodge and forego moments of bliss - not necessarily intimacy, just bliss, like now, resting against Tifa - because of those kids. They hadn't even started thinking about a family yet and here was the problem and obstacle of children, already handed to him before he could make his own. He felt like he was being seriously cheated out of a special phase in his life - the kind most people term the 'honeymoon' phase and is apparently supposed to be rather wonderful.

He wouldn't really _know_, however. It'd been _stolen_ from him without him having a say in the matter.

And now, because Marlene and Denzel were apparently sitting in the dining area, he wouldn't be able to enjoy this moment of comfort, which he _really needed_, because of they had a policy of not being too intimate in front of the kids.

Tifa giving him what appeared to be a booby hug would definitely fall under that category. She was going to leave and he couldn't have that, not yet. He needed this so badly. Silently, barely moving his good arm so the kids wouldn't see, he gently touched her waist with his hand, begging her not to go. Tifa hesitated for a moment longer then pushed away.

He dragged his head up, which felt like lead, to look at her. If she saw the weariness in his eyes, maybe she'd have some pity on him. Ever since he discovered that pity usually manifested in cuddling, kissing, special meals, and extra attention in general, he _loved_ pity!

In fact, it may have worked. He must really look beat because she bit her lip and glanced at the kids. Then she said, "Yeah, he's fine, just really tired. Right Cloud?"

Sigh. "Right."

Tifa leaned in and gave him a kiss - on the cheek. Great. No hug and now a kiss on the _cheek._ Well that's just peachy.

This day totally blows. If the bar goes up in flames next, he wouldn't be surprised. Hell, he might even throw himself in. Couldn't be much worse than being banged up all day, starved, splashed in mud by crazy neon hippies, walking miles in the wind, being attacked by evil doorframes and then being spurned by his love because of a couple of kids that weren't even his. _And_ who were robbing him of his honeymoon phase with Tifa.

...Okay, that last bit was probably unfair to the kids, but he was having a really bad day. Dig it? Like, this day, on the list of worst days in his life, was really sprinting for the top. With _vigor._

Tifa smiled - always a lovely sight - and cupped his weary face with one hand for a moment. "We ate a little while ago. Why don't you get a shower while I heat it up?"

"Okay. Thanks, Teef."

Wearily, with many false starts, he pushed off the bar and made slow, inching progress up the stairs. The kids were talking and Tifa answered in her sweet, angel-silver voice but he didn't really hear what they were saying. Too. Tired. Brain not. Compu. Ting.

The shower did revitalize him a bit. It's amazing what soaking in warm water can do for a man. There's always that indescribably unburdened feeling after stepping out of the shower, as though he'd washed off a ton of dirt and filth. It was a wonderful feeling - even better than that clean-sheet feeling after washing the bed linens. However, it didn't help that he remembered the last time he took a shower, Tifa had been with him. And that just poked a stick right in the sore spot of her refusing to comfort him because the kids were there.

Had he been running on a few more hours of sleep, had he not just come inches away from twisting on the floor in agony, he would have realized how ridiculous that was. However, he wasn't, and he almost did, and her refusal was a sore issue with him now.

After washing and dressing in some comfortable, clean clothes, he went downstairs and found his dinner already waiting for him, on the bar.

It's said that gods eat ambrosia. He had no idea what ambrosia is, but it can't be better than this. He thanked Tifa once again and started in on his late meal. Mmmm. Divine.

As he ate, he watched Tifa and the kids, semi-curious. She was helping them study for a quiz, using flash cards. She'd hold up a card, wait for them to identify what was on it and ask a few questions before moving onto the next card. It took him a while to figure out what the quiz was about.

Meteorology. Weather. Wind patters, cloud formations, all that shtick. He only realized it when he started getting irritated because he thought they were using his name every other sentence. Couldn't they at least _wait_ until he'd passed out in bed to start talking about him? After a moment of obvious eavesdropping, it surprised him to discover they actually weren't talking about him.

Marlene's little face was a picture of concentration as she tried to identify the object on the card.

"Come on, Marlene," Tifa said gently. "You know this. What kind of cloud is this?"

"Cu... cumulus?"

"Excellent!" A new card comes up. "How about this cloud."

"Cirrus."

Tifa's eyebrows raised a little. Marlene pinched her face in concentration once again.

"Stratus cloud!" Denzel cried.

Okay, first off, Cloud didn't know _why_ he got this shit name. Yes, you heard right - shit name. It sounded girly, for one. Clouds were soft and white and puffy and very pretty and occasionally spawned murderous tornadoes.

How does that _not_ describe girls? While all the other kids were being named John and Mark and... heh heh... Vincent, he got - Cloud. All the other names were taken up so he got the most boring weather phenomena for his moniker. Seriously. _Weather._ Who the hell resorts to watching the weather channel for naming your kid?

His mother apparently. Instead of getting a solid masculine name, he got something that stuck out just as much as his hair did. Thanks mom.

Secondly, his name created awkward moments such as this. Since it is really one of the most common and boring of weather phenomena, clouds will just come up in conversation and that's always awkward when a person with that name is standing _right there._

The other day, Yuffie had been trying to describe to Tifa this beautiful sunset she'd seen in Wutai. She rhapsodized about the lacy clouds that were gold and pink and how this one cloud looked so pretty, just blocking out the sun...

Then her little beady-evil-ferret-ninja eyes had alighted upon the poor blond just as he descended the stairs and she started rhapsodizing about how beautiful _he _was... particularly in a dress. With a tiara.

Oh yeah. He was going to pay her back for that one, but _good._

And it goes without saying he absolutely detested watching the morning news. You have any idea how strange it feels, hearing your name come out of a wrinkly dude's mouth twenty times in five seconds, every morning? Creepy. That's how it feels.

Anyways, it dawned on the other three as well that they were now saying his name, instead of naming a weather occurrence. There's no real point at which they stopped saying 'cloud' and started saying 'Cloud' but they all subliminally knew it and the awkward tension in the air was razor sharp.

Tifa turned to him and he gazed back, perfectly deadpan. "Do you want to eat in your room?" she asked.

Oh, don't even try. She denied him some comfort when he needed it most. He knew what she was doing and he wasn't going to go along with it. Payback.

"Nope," he said.

She gritted her teeth slightly. "Do you have to eat at the bar?" Was that desperation he heard in her voice? Ha! Writhe! Just like he'd been about to writhe on the floor at her feet! Because she wouldn't give him a hug. A Tifahug.

Crap, even his conscience sounded petulant.

"Yup," he said.

She narrowed her eyes dangerously and turned back to the kids. "Okay, what Cloud is this, Marlene?"

He saw her flinch and couldn't help but smirk. There it was again, his name, not the weather. It was really starting to annoy them. He was too tired to be annoyed. Say my name baby, say my name. So much for keeping any 'intimacy' from showing around the kids, eh, Teefs? Ha!

He turned back to his food to hide his evil smirk.

"Cirrus Cloud." Even Marlene winces a bit.

"Good... good. And how does it form?"

Marlene closed her eyes and after a moment started speaking. She sounded like she was reciting from a textbook. "Cirrus Cl-clouds are composed of ice crystals high in the stratosphere."

"Right! And what kind of Cloud is opposite that?" Flinch.

A squint, a bite of the lip. "A stratus Cloud, because they form really low."

Okay, scratch that last part. It was starting to annoy him now.

"Cumulonimbus is my favorite Cloud," Denzel said proudly. He didn't even flinch when he said it - kid was slow on the uptake. "It's awesome looking."

"I like Cirrus Clouds," Marlene said. "They're so wispy and delicate looking. Pretty."

Oh yeah, wispy and delicate. Pretty! _Exactly_ the kind of description he wanted attached to his name. He rapidly finished his meal. He had to get out - now. He really regretted staying now. His stupid little attempt of retribution at Tifa had totally backfired.

This day was going from shit, to shit-_storm._ And no, that wasn't a pun on Denzel's 'awesome' cumulonimbus Clou- er, clouds. Dammit, now he was starting to do it too! Gah!

Just... chug the orange juice Tifa poured him and go. Run. Get to bed and pass out and forget this ever happened. And when morning comes, tell the world to get bent and don't get up. Ever. Again.

"Cirrus Clouds are girly," Denzel scoffed.

Why, Denzel?

Why.

That was a seriously low blow. You're supposed to back a dude up, not hit below the belt. Cloud reminded himself to have a talk with that boy.

A muffled sound came from Tifa but he dare not glance back at them. Just run, Strife. RUN!

...Dammit, this glass wasn't this big last time he remembered drinking from it. He had to stop drinking and gasp for breath instead.

"They are not girly Clouds! They're pretty!"

"Girly. Clouds," Denzel said.

Stop saying it, dammit! Oh, he'd remember this indignity. Denzel wouldn't be wheedling anything out of him for months, at the very least.

"Teeeefaaaaa!" Marlene whined. Like all kids do, they turned to the parent for the tie-breaker.

Thank all that's holy. He finally managed to drain the glass. He never wanted to see orange juice again so long as he lived.

"Sorry you two, I can't help you out." Tifa sounded too damn smug. Now he was never going to get that hug.

"But whyyyy?"

He slid off the stool and started making a hasty retreat for the stairs. If he stayed any longer, this was just going to get worse. Okay? _Worse._ As in worse than the day Nibelheim was destroyed.

Well, okay. Maybe not that bad, but pretty damn close.

Suddenly, a hand on his shoulder - his good one, since the other was still sore - halted his retreat in midstep. His balance was upset and to stop from falling, he stumbled into the bar. The edge of the bartop dug into his back. Oh please, please, just let me escape, let me get out of here with some digni-

All thoughts cut off as Tifa gave him a long, deep, hot kiss that was definitely not G-rated.

Oh. Oh wow. Oh that was good. That was really, really good. He needed that. The kiss kept going on and on and on and he felt himself slowly sliding into blissful oblivion, sweetly ignorant of the kids squeakings and gasps. He wondered for a moment if Tifa had planned this - timing his dinner with the kids' studying, knowing he'd be miserable when he came home.

But really, planned or not, he didn't care. It was glorious.

When they finally broke apart, Tifa just smiled up at him, her eyes flashing mischievously. "Because _this_," and she winked at him, "is my favorite Cloud."

The kids snorted and gagged at the ridiculous pun but it made him grin. Only Tifa, only his angel could make a stupid, awkward, girly name sound like something amazing. Something about how she said it, how she lingered on the name, made him want to strut. She was amazing.

And she wasn't done yet, since she kissed him again, same as last time but even better, if that was possible. Two kisses! Two awesome kisses from excruciatingly beautiful, wonderful Tifa, in front of the kids, when he _really_ needed it. Not only that, but she had also preserved his masculinity and saved face for him all in one go. And that isn't even touching on how wonderful her mouth feels, how incredible she tastes and how it's even better since the kids are sitting right there, like stealing a kiss in church. He loved her madly.

She said he was her favorite. He felt a little proud of that.

After she finally parted from him and winked, giving him that look that said she'd be cuddling with him tonight after all, he climbed the stairs with a daffy grin on his face. The kids laughter followed him up and he collapsed on the bed, sinking into the wonderfully soft sheets. He was still smiling.

Later, when Tifa slipped into bed with him and covered his face with kisses, he knew this was without a doubt one of the best moments in his life. Falling asleep with a warm and cozy and jasmine-lavender scented Tifa snuggling up to him was one of the few pleasures in his life that he would never tire of. He fell asleep with a faint smile on his face.

Overall?

A pretty good day.


End file.
